Anyone who knows me knows that I love my birthday. I might not always know what I want or might not be excited about the age I'm turning, but a birthday is a special thing. It's the one day out of the whole year that I can say, it's all about me. Well, it's all about me and Charlie.
Seriously, my birthday is important to me. It's a yearly reminder that I've made accomplishments. For instance, I made it another year in this crazy world. I am a year closer to getting my degree. I am two years into a great decade. I have gotten to a point where I feel good about myself. I love it!
Last year sucked. Most of the people I know and love forgot to call me. I got one or two cards and that was it. No cake, no acknowledgment, no well-wishes. *sigh*
This year was the opposite; I had calls coming in on my cell phone from around 6:30 am all the way to midnight!! I got serenaded by Abby and Emma and got a homemade card from Blake. We had to go to the field because all the kids had games but I even got a few well-wishes and hugs from some friends. Overall, it was a nice day.
Again, though, Tommy was MIA. Well, not really missing since I knew right where he was, but missing in that he wasn't with me. He played golf (just like any other day that is special to me) and then gave me the scraps of his time. We went to eat at Shoney's after the games since it was already after 9pm, something I wasn't fond of at all. Who wants their birthday dinner at Shoney's?!?! And that was it. No card, no present, no special time together, nothing. Um, I'm sorry, what did *you* get for your birthday? A flat-screen HDTV you say? Uh huh. Nice. I guess I got the control of the remote for a day.
I know it sounds really materialistic of me to complain about not getting any presents from Tommy. It's not about the "thing" but about the thought. Really, it is. I don't need or want anything really. But a nice set of lotion or a gift certificate to my favorite store is not alot to ask. And Tommy equates love with stuff; what am I supposed to deduce when he doesn't even think to get me any stuff (even knowing I am fine with getting his time)??
I rarely know what to tell people I want for my birthday when they ask. I know what I want for my 33rd birthday. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel needed. I want the Tommy I fell in love with all those years ago.
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